Normally, I wouldn’t ask this of you, but lately, things have gotten bad.

I’m going to put the story behind a cut, and you can read it and judge for yourselves.

Most of you who have followed me for a while know that I live with my dad. Most of you who have followed me for a while know that I am unemployed. I have been, for almost two years now. Both of these points are incredibly important.

Today, my dad came in and I was drawing out the plates he needed to cut out for his armor, something he asked me to do. I had no way of going out today to search for a job, as he took my keys because he couldn’t find them. My phone had been shut off this morning, because my prepaid card ran out (I told him when it would run out; he asked a couple of weeks ago). So, this afternoon, he comes back from work while he’s on a run, flicks two twenty dollar bills at my head and proceeds to ream me out for ‘not doing anything’, ‘being lazy’, and ‘not going around and knocking on doors like he used to when he was looking for a job’. The money was to buy a new phone card, because the old one had run up. He swore up and down I told him the 28th. He then tells me that I am about to be kicked out.

This is the backstory. I have been emotionally and mentally abused by him ever since I moved back in. He has threatened to kick me to the curb numerous times, all while telling me I am not good enough. In the past, during my high school years, this was actual physical abuse. (My theory is he stopped the physical abuse once I got tall enough to actually overpower him.) I have tried many times to break away, and have never succeeded fully. Money has always stopped me. I need to get away — this environment is as toxic and damaging as you would think it would be.

I do my job searches during the day, but nights are mine. What do I do during the evenings, you ask?

Well, I used to game. Now?

I write porn.

I’m not kidding. I’ve tossed my hat into the ring and have started self-publishing erotica shorts on Smashwords, Barnes and Noble, and Amazon.com. I price my works at $2.99 and I have made several sales already. My second story nabbed 14 sales the first night it was up. This is hard work, but I can crank out a story (heh) in a day.

But it’s too little, too late. My dad has already begun the cycle of emotional manipulation anew. I will continue to cook and clean but be told because I don’t bring in money, I’m not worth a damn.

Here’s where you can help.

I write under the alias JJ Collins. You might recognize it from previous posts of mine: I have a separate blog for her because she is my pseudonym and I don’t want potential employers to find that and link it to me. I was promoting it through this blog, but I kept everything separate. The situation has changed, and I need the help of the huge support network that is Tumblr.

So here’s the deal:

I can be found at Smashwords, Amazon, and Barnes and Noble. These are downloadable e-books that you can carry with you, all formatted for e-readers like Nook and Kindle. I have two stories out now, and a third one that I will be finishing and publishing sometime tonight. What you can do to help me is buy my porn.

The more sales I have, the better my rankings on these sites, and the more sales from people looking for porn I will have. The more reviews I have, the better the chances of me selling a book from a buyer on the fence. Buy my porn, and if you like it/don’t like it, leave me a review so I can see how I’m doing.

I know it’s an odd request, and I know that some of you might not be comfortable with it.

Instead, what you can do is commission me. I will write you something custom. I will write you a 2,000 word fic of your choice. It’ll run you more, right at $5, but it’s custom to you, to share or share not as you choose. My rules for custom fics are here, if you want to help and decide to go this route.

I’m not asking for donations. I am providing an honest day’s work for a fee. I write, edit, and format all my stories, as well as designing my own covers. It takes a day to create one of these, and I have been at this since last Thursday. I take pride in my writing, and I think that this is a way for me to make enough money to support myself.

If you can’t buy anything, no worries, a signal boost is just as appreciated.

Please, help me get out of this toxic environment. Help me jumpstart my erotica career.

Help me sell my porn.

Thank you for your time. If you have any questions, please send me an ask or email me at lywinis@gmail.com.